So much to update. Aaaaa.

Platina has forced me to upload the picture I finished yesterday to some anime/manga-fanclub website I joined back in the mid 00's. And hadn't updated it since a few years. Some really really embarrassing old pictures are in my gallery there still, but I don't bother enough to sort them out. I deleted my profile - the least I can do - which was even more awkward to read.
Gosh, have I been dumb as a teenager. *is proud to be out of the -teens now*

Here it is:


Yea, I know right? It's super thrilling.
I decided to actually get better in drawing again and re-edited some earlier version of it which I actually considered "done". It looked really sketchy still and there was no background, no depth, no highlights or structure. I hope I can call this finished now.
I highly recommend to watch "500 days of summer"; it's cute. It doesn't have anything to do with this picture at all, though.

I am not joined any RO-Server atm, so I'm kinda missing it. It's still my only fandom and I wanna keep drawing about it. I hope, someday, a nice low/midrate server without ridiculous custom items or retarded people will open and make me play it again, actively. Even if Real Life tries to suck all my living energy out.


So since I DECIDED I am getting better at drawing from now on, I finished another picture today (which I also wanted to give up on halfway). It shows my boyfriend and me with our future baby.


(No I don't have a baby and I don't plan on having one anytime soon, It's just a silly idea.)
I got my new Intuos4 a few days ago and I'm now trying to use most of my free time on drawing again; I was neglecting this lately. Used quite alot of time on this picture, since I'm kinda out of training and have to get used to an efficient workflow again.
(Not that I ever had one.)

Also - my boyfriend and I have our 9 months anniversary soon, so we could have a baby by now, in theory.
... Lol, yea, idek either.

This is my new tablet:


The pen of mine is not getting magically held up that way, tho. >:

Hi again.

I've been super lazy lately, and work is driving me mad slowly, so I haven't thought of blogging in a while. Now I'm damn out of my mind while sitting at work and I thought I could upload some commissions I drew for some RO people on my old server (which I quit meanwhile, due to the lack of freetime that I'm willing to use to grind my ass off). It was only for zeny. And as I thought of the mass of time I had to use on each picture, I realized I could've just aswell used the time to farm the money myself. It was rather frustrating.


This, for sure, is the most detailed/time-consuming/exhausting picture I've drawn so far. I think it took me serveral hours over a few days to a week. I'm sorta happy with how it turned out, just not-so-satisfied with the face of the knight and the peco; it looks like an alien.



Puppy. Murr.



(Can you see how much I felt like drawing this? The non-existent motivation is catching, huh?) Yeaa ... I didn't even like the person that I drew it for much. I felt a bit like a prostitute - maybe I should keep in mind to only draw pictures of motifs and for people I like the next time.

And I kinda need a private space for my own computer again, I'm thinking about buying a small table to draw/do stuff in my own room instead of sitting next to my roommate in the living room the whole time, feeling awkward. But I'd rather not move, but make her move, but her stupid ancient/halfbroken laptop won't allow internet usage via W-LAN. So I'm sharing my table - in reach of the router - getting even more frustrated.
Ugh.

Something naughty for the end. Much, much pedo. Hurr durr.

wall of text, orz

I try to drink water and tea to lose some weight. D: Lydia has always been right. qq Soda can't be good.

It's interesting how many stories about people exist, that have been stuck on a trainstation or in an Intercity Express during this winter. I got no idea how to describe this years winter.
Extreme? Icy? COLD?
The trouble started with the first day of snow. Trains running late or stuck on railways in the middle of nowhere because of frosted switches or even doors that could not be opened on the trainstations since they've been completely covered with ice. Trams, o god trams didn't run at all because the overhead contact lines were frozen over and the electricity couldn't float. (respectively the lines *could* have been damaged if the tram would try to drive on tho)

Later today: Guess what, I missed the train. I'm sitting in the next train one hour later and it's standing still. It didn't even drive 300 m yet. I wonder what is wrong this time. I suppose another train that just passed us in a really slow motion was the train we waited for. But we're still not driving on.
Anyway, being late for the train 6:25 pm gave me enough time to do some errands, such as buying new nailpolish and a tiny little christmaspresent for my bestest friend. I didn't exactly know what to get, and if she'd even like it, but at least I hope so. and if she doesn't like it at all she can still give it back so I can have it

Another train just passed us. We're the only train being stuck between station 0 and 1. It's annoying. They shouldn't have started when they knew we'd be stuck like 200 m away from the trainstation anyway. Ugh.

Another thing I had to do was that I went to Saturn (some German pc-shop) to ask about how sending my slightly broken O² Netbook in to get it repaired. I should stop throwing it on the ground srsly. /swt;; But yea. They told me they wouldn't make it before christmas, but I don't exactly care as long as it is before I move out, because I'll prolly not have much internet for a while after moving, at least nothing fast/stable. And I'm using my Netbook as my MP3-Player atm, so I don't really want to give it away. I'll try and send it in on the 3rd of January 2011 or something, so they have about 3 weeks before I really need it back.

I hope the guys of O² are more reliable than germanys train company, since we STILL fucking stand in the middle of nowhere and nothing is moving back or forth, the driver isn't telling us why the hell we still stand here (it's 30 minutes late already and we still can see the station we started from behind us) and there's no information at all.

Another 5 minutes later, the train finally started driving again. Finally! We're 35 minutes late and I'm so missing my bus and prolly will have to wait for the next bus in the cold. As

Winter should stop being so cold imo. Where's this global warming everyone rants about?

I fail in keeping up a blog. I fail in life, in drawing, in staying in touch with people I like and being satisfied with what I have. I fail in general. (?) (having a really unfortunate day)

Today's biggest fail was the commute here. There were so many things going wrong, it's sort of sad and hilarious at the same time. :(

First thing was my bus being late. Thus we couldn't catch the train, so we had to wait one hour in 20°f (felt like -4°f to me because of the wind and snow) outside. So when the train finally came, it was so bursting stuffed, I was scared I couldn't even exit at my station. qq (and almost didn't make it). Deutsche Bahn company wich organizes all the trains and shit in Germany really is acting retarded. They add 2% additional charge every 6 months, so it's getting more and more expensive with time. But still they don't quite manage to run two wagons at the same time anymore to fit all passengers in without the feeling of a squeeze cage.
O lord, good thing I don't have to bear with this for much longer. I so regret I hadn't moved earlier, this really is a burden.
Anyway, so when I reached my station, the bus was late. 6_6 When I entered the Tram I wanted to take instead, it BROKE right after it tried to start driving. What the-- Did I not notice a black cat running from left to right the other night? Or was it from left to right?! IDK.

When I finally arrived at work, first thing I noticed was my messed up hair. I sweat alot with beanie on so it got all steamed and messy and not even a comb could make it straigth again. /fail
And RIGHT in that second I try to fix my hair a visitor arrived and I had to welcome him in the most embarassing shape ever.
I washed my hair under the water tap later, it was better after. /swt


Everything is not alright. imo.