Candles

Ignore the title.

I have something I wanted to show you! My last update was so long ago that things that are already outdated for me should sound new to you. Like how I got my ukulele for Christmas. And how I got so crazy about it, and learned how to play it somewhat decently in like two months, that I wished for a guitar for my birthday and made my lovely boyfriend give me it two months in advance (I'm a bad bad gurl, nyahahaha).

It arrived yesterday!

I call her Bonnie.

Isn't it... black? Yes, yes it is.

First thing I did with it was to break a string while tuning. OBVIOUSLY. It's like mandatory for every amateur musician to break a string before you can start getting better.

It's a thing. Google it.

Anyway. I expect to play the shit out of this thing until my fingers bleed tonight. 

On a side note, for those who might be interested about how my life was going (and those who don't give a shit, I expect you didn't read this far anyway), my apprenticeship is about to end in 4 months, give or take. Aaand I've already had my job interview in my current company. They won't take me. They claim it's some kind of money issue and that they don't have the resources to employ any more people. Meh. Well they kinda pushed my ego though, since they totally credited me for all the designs and stuff that I made and that I'm totally gonna be a cool graphic designer one day (if I ever manage to find another job during Euro crisis) and yadda yadda like that.

Sigh. Wish me luck for finding the motivation to juggle school, exams, my work, guitar, drawing and applying  for a new job all at once.

Oh yeah one more thing

Just forgot to upload this old page here too. It will be the last. Until I ever change my mind about finishing it.

Can't be bothered

Hey guys. No I'm not back. I'm just here to give you a comic strip of us playing DayZ.

I drew this quite some time ago but never had the chance to upload it. I'm also working on another – more detailed and way better-looking – comic strip to upload sometime this weekend. I know I'm really horrible at  keeping up blogging, but I will try.

Also that Korra fancomic just kinda... slipped out of my mind. And now when I think of how I should probably finish it, I think I don't want to finish it. So, sorry fellas. I really am. But there are so many more pressing matters coming up in my life right now, I can't really calm down enough to dutifully finish this comic. 

These other comic strips though are pretty relaxing, because the story doesn't drag along for pages.

If I have to (Page 12)

So here's the deal. I've been trying to finish this page since about Monday and I just yesterday remembered that it would probably be a good idea to pack my sketchbook in for scanning it at work, because otherwise it would have never been scanned. Yay me!

I've  actually even been staying longer at work, just to finishing drawing the last four "cracked" panels at the sides, because I just didn't think of doing so earlier, like, when I was at home and had free time. It's what the working society does to us. It drains out all your enthusiasm and leaves only some weak sparks of memory that remind you you should probably be doing something constructive after work – not watching some lame low budget TV shows until you doze off to sleep. But tell that my to body and brain? It's addicted to forever doing nothing, because doing something just gets harder when you're forced to do nothing already at work.

To all the first-time visiting guys still reading this, please stop. Its just me going to whine and whine lots more about how unfair this world is and about how annoying most people are (and I will most likely scare you away (with my horrible careless grammar)). 

Like how my new colleague, a new apprentice for the marketing department in my company, who had been told to do all the work I did before. Because her apprenticeship actually includes the things I did (grafics, websites, etc.), unlike mine (secretary stuff, office stuff, crapshit).

But it sucks. I mean, I have nothing to do most of the time now; and the things I am asked to do are most likely the things no one else ever wanted to do. It's first year apprenticeship all over again. I thought we went past that a couple of months ago. On top of it all, I have to baby-sit a freshman in every possible graphics issue. I have to show her everything, and I simply don't have the time, nor the nerve to be her "go-to-guy" any longer. How do I get out of this position? How do I make myself clear I don't want her interrupting my train of thought every other minute? Gah, it's just so useless. With every bit I make her more skilled in graphics, I make my chances slimmer to be taken over after my apprenticeship. It RUINS me.

It's not like I hate my job. I'd love my job, if I would be doing my job. Even if it says on my contract, that I am right now doing my actual job, I feel like my real job was taken from me. And I want it back.

I feel outright scared that if I end up with this office crap to do every day, they might forget my actual use and skill, and simply disregard me when planning for the future, after my apprenticeship is done. I don't want to leave. I don't want to go through fighting my way back out of social anxiety and feeling monitored each and everyday again. I don't want to have to get used to other people with different opinions on why I suck anymore. I just want to stay here and curl up and for once enjoy being socially and financially stable for as long as it is possible.

If they don't want to give me that, I don't think many others will. 

This is a picture that stirred up some trouble
with some mature content business on DevArt.
I didn't want to just swipe it under the rug though,
so here you go.